Having a Hard Day

When I was 12 I was raped by my cousin and then one year later I was molested by my stepfather. I have had up and down struggles since then. I struggle with depression and it has affected every part of my life from being a wife to being a mother. I never got good counseling help after this due to a bad one that I had who made me feel as if everything that happened was my fault. I know that is not the case but back then I thought it to be true. The one thing that has kind of helped me all these years is the fact that I knew where my offender was and that he could not make good on threats he made while he was abusing me. He was either incarcerated or a registered sex offender. I would look him up on the sex offender site so I knew he was not coming after me and now today I find that he is no longer listed. When I found this out I was instantly over come with a great sense of fear. I am so afraid that he will find me and come after me or my children. I have two little girls and I do not want anything to happen to them.