"They were just playing Dr"

Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow...

My therapist made a phone call to my mother earlier this week on my behalf.  Let me back up a few here...

On Christmas day 2011 I told my mother about how I was sexually abused by my brothers.  One of my brothers lives with her and she yell for him to come upstairs and this is how she called him up, "Brother! Get up here! Your sister said you ****** her!" At the top of her lungs.  He came upstairs and he wanted me to explain what I "thought" happened.  After explaining some very greusome details he got in my face and started yelling at me, "You're delusional!" I kept spitting out the disgusting things they had done to me and then he said, "I was only 9!"  At that moment I realized he started molesting me before I could remember, he started it when I was 1 year old!  I almost puked.... He kept yelling at me saying I was delusional.... My mother stood by his side NOT SAYING A WORD! I was fighting for myself all by myself!  I was mortified!  I finally looked at him square in the face and screamed, "you know what you did to me!  So does your brother! You both are sick *****!" Before I left I looked at my mother dead in the face and she had nothing there... She was blank, uncaring, dead... 

My dear husband tried to speak with mommy dearest a week later on the phone and she said that my brothers didn't deny anything happened, but she thought it only to be us "Playing Dr."  Wow.

A while later my therapist made a call to mommy dearest and said the same thing,  "They didn't deny anything happened, but they were just playing Dr."  She said she would have seen the signs of abuse.  No one did anything wrong to me.  I was making it up.  Now, why in the hell would I make something like that up at the age of 38?!  Wow.  She also told my therapist that she (my therapist) must not be very good since I had been seeing her for a year and I wasn't fixed yet.  Yea, wow.  My mother does not want any contact with me until I am fixed.... WOOOOWWW

For two days I was in bed sleeping, because I could not handle the pain while awake.  I have had no food for the last four days and am living on coffee and cigarettes.  The way this all went down has devestated me.  I no longer have any thing left to give.  I am shell shocked...